Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Reflections on 45 and 1/2 years: Playing God

After months of soul-searching and the continual waking up with a dream of something new, Carol and I decided to step into a new chapter.

I leave with unfinished business. Untied ends. Unfulfilled dreams. Unsung songs. Unfinished orchestrations. A nagging sense of indebtedness to incomplete, beyond my control, stories.

This is the lead worshiper's worst-case scenario: the drive for center stage gratification.

Why?  Why, do I think I can fix it all? Avenge all wrongs? Straighten every crooked path. Fill every pothole? Mend every fence? Complete the incomplete? Sing every song. Orchestrate every measure of someone's existence.

Self-important, egomaniacs fool themselves thinking they can do such things. I'm unable to be God or play God. I have to let go. Let it go. Just go. And let God.

Sometimes going is the most loving thing I can do; as God will work through others to accomplish His purposes for His glory and renown, not mine.

Soli Deo Gloria


Barnes said...

Time to start on your blog, again.

Barnes said...

Where are you? Talk to me. Come on, let's go.