Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Reflections on 45 and 1/2 years: Playing God

After months of soul-searching and the continual waking up with a dream of something new, Carol and I decided to step into a new chapter.

I leave with unfinished business. Untied ends. Unfulfilled dreams. Unsung songs. Unfinished orchestrations. A nagging sense of indebtedness to incomplete, beyond my control, stories.

This is the lead worshiper's worst-case scenario: the drive for center stage gratification.

Why?  Why, do I think I can fix it all? Avenge all wrongs? Straighten every crooked path. Fill every pothole? Mend every fence? Complete the incomplete? Sing every song. Orchestrate every measure of someone's existence.

Self-important, egomaniacs fool themselves thinking they can do such things. I'm unable to be God or play God. I have to let go. Let it go. Just go. And let God.

Sometimes going is the most loving thing I can do; as God will work through others to accomplish His purposes for His glory and renown, not mine.

Soli Deo Gloria